Love Wins… Does It?

I have a Samsung Frame TV, and today an artwork rotated onto the screen that simply read: Love Wins. And I found myself pausing—not admiring, not rejecting—just asking a quiet but honest question:

Does it?

It should. It would be ideal. It’s what many of us were taught. It’s what we were told to expect if we “did the right thing,” stayed kind, stayed open, stayed loving.

But our lived reality doesn’t always match what should be—nor what we were taught to expect.

My clients know this about me: we talk a lot about agreements and expectations—how they quietly shape our disappointment, our resentment, our discontentment. Unspoken expectations, especially, are true shit starters. They create fractures in relationships, institutions, and even within ourselves.

But this idea—love wins—feels different.Not naïve. Not performative. Not toxic positivity.

It feels like a truth we want to believe.

Because if we truly loved people for who they are; regardless of what they look like or what language they speak

…If we minded the business that actually pays us…If we stopped moralizing difference and started practicing discernment and care…We would all win.

And yet—look around.

From politics to the Super Bowl, from school boards to social media comment sections—everyone has a side. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone is certain they’re right. And very little of it is rooted in love.

What we’re seeing isn’t passion—it’s polarization.Not conviction—contempt.Not love—ego dressed up as righteousness.

Love as a Catalyst, Not a Slogan

When we look at Black history, love wasn’t soft—but it was central.

Love fueled movements. Love demanded dignity. Love insisted on humanity where hate had been normalized.

The civil rights movement was not powered by hatred—it was powered by a radical, disciplined love for people, for justice, for what was right, and for what was kind—even when kindness was not reciprocated. Leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. spoke openly about love as a moral force, not a feeling—something practiced intentionally, even under threat.

Hatred—taught, rehearsed, and institutionalized—only deepened harm. It never healed it.

Which makes me wonder:

What Have We Actually Learned About Love?

Have we learned that love is conditional?That it only applies if people agree with us?That love is something we say rather than something we do?

And what about hate?

Hate is loud.Hate is contagious.Hate feels powerful in the moment—but it corrodes everything it touches.

Love, on the other hand, is slower.More inconvenient.Less performative.

Love requires boundaries. Love requires accountability. Love requires us to see each other—fully human, deeply flawed, still worthy.

So maybe the question isn’t does love win?Maybe the real question is:

Are we actually practicing it?

Because love doesn’t win by default. It wins when it’s chosen—again and again—over ego, fear, control, and comfort.

And maybe that’s the work.Not expecting love to magically save us……but deciding—individually and collectively—to live like it matters.

References & Further Reading

• Strength to Love – Martin Luther King Jr.

A foundational exploration of love as a moral discipline and transformative force in the pursuit of justice and collective liberation.

• All About Love – bell hooks

A cultural and relational examination of love as care, accountability, and commitment—challenging the ways society distorts love into control or performance.

• Love as the Practice of Freedom – bell hooks

A series of essays positioning love as an active practice of liberation, resistance, and community healing.

• The Sum of Us – Heather McGhee

An exploration of how division and zero-sum thinking harm everyone, and how collective care creates shared benefit.

• The Righteous Mind – Jonathan Haidt

An examination of moral certainty, polarization, and why people cling to “sides,” often at the expense of empathy and understanding.