To My Black and Brown Sistahs —

This shit is hard. Really hard.

And I don’t want to sugarcoat it — especially not during Black History Month, when we honor the resilience, strength, and brilliance of the women who came before us. Women who survived unimaginable brutality, held whole families together, built schools, organized movements, raised communities, and still passed down wisdom. They understood community — not as a luxury, but as life support. And they practiced sisterhood long before the word was something you posted on Instagram.

But here’s the raw and real part: for many of us, that village feels like a memory now — something we barely remember, something our grandparents talk about, something we wish we still had.

You might be holding down a home with a partner…but still feel like you’re doing this alone.Hustling, mothering, planning, healing — carrying everything with no one literally watching your back.

You used to have a neighbor who’d jump in when you were overwhelmed. Now? Folks are tucked into their own pain, their own survival mode — sometimes so overwhelmed they can’t even show up for themselves, let alone show up for you.

And that hurts.

It’s not crazy to say it out loud: we have been harmed by each other sometimes — including by other Black women. Whether it’s in the workplace, in entertainment, in politics — the “mean girl” stories, the competition, the social media drama — you’ve seen it. You’ve felt it. You’ve probably lived it. And it cuts deep because it feels like betrayal in a place where you should be safe.

We see the stereotypes that say Black women are angry, hostile, bitter — tropes created centuries ago to justify oppression and still lingering in media and culture today. These stereotypes don’t reflect reality, but they have real consequences on how we’re treated and how we see ourselves. 

So how did we get here?

We navigated oppression in isolation instead of in community. We were taught to be the “strong Black woman” — independent, unbreakable — so we stayed silent about our pain. And over time… we stopped asking for help.

But here’s what we also need to name:

Being hurt by another Black woman does not mean sisterhood is dead. It means healing is unfinished. It means we are all carrying wounds — and sometimes the weight of those wounds makes it hard to show up for someone else.

But here’s where the shift is happening — and I truly mean that.

More Black women today are intentionally connecting.Not just posting affirmations — but building real community.We see it in:

• Sister circles and support groups where women talk about motherhood, identity, trauma, and healing.

• Fitness , travel, and wellness spaces created by women for women.

• Online communities that uplift rather than tear down.

Black women are rewriting the narrative that we’re all bitter and competitive — and we’re reclaiming the village. We’re learning to trust again. We’re making space for real connection, not just surface-level social media poses.

Because when Black women come together — in collaboration, support, and shared vulnerability — we are unstoppable. That same collective strength is what guided ancestors to march, to organize, to demand justice, to fight for human rights.

Sisterhood doesn’t mean perfection. It means showing up even when it’s scary. It means trusting again. It means letting someone love you — and you loving them back.

So as we move through this Black History Month, let’s do it with intention.

Let’s build connection.Let’s build community.Let’s build love.

Not because we’re perfect —but because we are worthy.And because the village that once sustained our ancestors still lives in us — and in us supporting each other.

In community and truth. 🖤

Citations & Further Reading

Dr. Jameca Woody Cooper, PhDThe Power of Sisterhood: Why Black Women’s Friendships MatterExplores how Black women’s friendships foster emotional wellness, self-esteem, and resilience through shared lived experience and mutual support. drjameca.com

NBCU AcademyBlack Women Stereotypes: How the Media Can Avoid Tropes (Feb 12, 2025)Examines harmful media tropes such as the “Angry Black Woman” and their impact on public perception, workplace treatment, and social narratives. nbcuacademy.com

Hall, N. M. (2025).The Strong Black Woman Stereotype and Identity ShiftingPublished in Journal of Black Psychology.Analyzes how the Strong Black Woman schema affects emotional suppression, help-seeking behaviors, and psychological well-being among Black women.PMC / NIH

Somerville, K., et al. (2023).An Evaluation of the Feasibility and Acceptability of Sister CirclesHighlights sister circles as an indigenous, culturally grounded healing intervention for Black women, particularly during pregnancy and postpartum periods. nih.gov

Settles, I. H. (2008).Through the Lens of Race: Black and White Women’s ExperiencesFoundational work on intersectionality, examining how racism and sexism intersect in shaping Black women’s lived experiences. nih.gov

Rosenthal, L. (2016).Stereotypes of Black American Women and Health OutcomesDemonstrates how racialized gender stereotypes negatively impact Black women’s sexual, reproductive, and mental health. nih.gov

University of Florida (2024).Study: News Media Coverage Can Affect Attitudes Toward Black WomenFinds that intersectional media narratives can humanize Black women and disrupt monolithic stereotypes. ufl.edu

Miranda, A. H. (2022).Sisterhood as a Supportive Network in the Black Girl ExperienceExplores how sisterhood functions as a protective factor for identity development and emotional wellness among Black girls and women. emerald.com / ResearchGate

Motro, D. (2021).Examining the Effects of the “Angry Black Woman” StereotypePublished by the American Psychological Association.Documents workplace bias, emotional labor expectations, and professional penalties linked to this stereotype. apa.org

Jackman, A. (2025).The Role of Black Sisterhood Networks in Support and RetentionAnalyzes affinity spaces and sisterhood networks as critical to Black women’s success, healing, and persistence across professional and academic spaces. columbia.edu

Harris, F. C. (1998).The Role of African American Sisterhood in Community EngagementA foundational study on how sisterhood has historically functioned as a source of civic engagement, care, and collective action.JSTOR

Black Love, Inc. (2023).Dr. Joy Harden Bradford’s “Sisterhood Heals”Explores how modern Black women are reclaiming healing through intentional relationships and emotional honesty. blacklove.com

Nature Human Behaviour (2024).The Impact of Intersectional Racial and Gender BiasesProvides empirical evidence on how intersecting biases shape social treatment, stress exposure, and health outcomes for Black women. nature.com