Why Small Decisions Can Feel So Overwhelming When You're Stressed

Nora Mangan
Jul 20
5 min read

There are days when even the smallest decisions can feel surprisingly difficult.

Maybe you've spent twenty minutes trying to decide what to eat for dinner. Or you've gone back and forth about what to wear, what movie to watch, whether you should buy something you've been thinking about, or which paint color to choose for a room in your home.

From the outside, these choices might seem pretty simple.

But somehow, they don't always feel that way.

Instead, you might find yourself comparing every option, second-guessing yourself, or wondering if there's a better choice you just haven't thought of yet. At some point, you might even catch yourself thinking, "Why is this so hard?"

If that feels familiar, you're definitely not alone.

While we often think of decision-making as something straightforward, it actually involves much more than simply picking between different options. According to research, decision-making is a complex process that involves bringing together past experiences, current goals, information from our environment, and our expectations about what might happen in the future. All of these pieces help shape the choices we make every day (Sarmiento et al., 2024).

With this, it makes sense that even everyday decisions can sometimes feel more complicated than they first appear.

Sometimes we're not just deciding what to eat for dinner or what shirt to wear.

Sometimes our brains are sorting through a lot more than we realize.

Why Decisions Can Feel So Mentally Draining

When we think about making a decision, we often imagine it as a quick moment where we simply choose between two or three options.

But in reality, there's usually much more happening behind the scenes.

Our brains are constantly taking in information, weighing different possibilities, thinking about past experiences, considering what might happen next, and trying to predict which choice will lead to the best outcome. According to Sarmiento and colleagues (2024), decision-making involves both cognitive and emotional processes that work together to help us make choices.

With this, it makes sense that making decisions can sometimes feel mentally tiring, especially when we're already juggling a lot.

Think about all of the choices you make in a single day.

You decide when to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, how to respond to emails or text messages, what chores to do first, whether to run errands today or tomorrow, and hundreds of other small decisions that probably don't even cross your mind.

Most of the time, we make these choices without thinking much about them.

But there are times when one decision seems to require a little more thought than usual.

Maybe the options all seem equally good. Maybe you're worried about making the wrong choice. Or maybe you simply have a lot going on, making it harder to sort through everything.

And honestly, that's part of being human.

Not every decision is going to feel easy every single day.

Sometimes our minds simply have more to process.

When Small Decisions Start Feeling Bigger Than They Really Are

Sometimes, it's not the decision itself that feels overwhelming.

It's everything we start thinking about because of it.

A simple choice can quickly turn into wondering whether we're making the "right" decision, whether we'll regret it later, or whether there's a better option we just haven't found yet.

Before we know it, we're comparing every possibility, replaying different outcomes in our minds, and spending much more time thinking about the decision than we expected.

With this, a choice that seemed pretty small at first can start feeling much bigger.

Sometimes we also attach other concerns to the decision without realizing it.

Choosing what to make for dinner might turn into thinking about saving money or eating healthier. Picking out a paint color might become worrying about whether you'll still like it years from now.

The decision itself hasn't necessarily changed.

But everything we've connected to it has.

And honestly, that can make even everyday choices feel more overwhelming than they really are.

How Stress Can Influence Decision-Making

There are also times when making decisions feels harder because we're already under stress.

Research suggests that stress can affect the way we think and make decisions. Rather than carefully considering different possibilities, we may be more likely to rely on familiar habits or simpler ways of responding, especially when we're feeling overwhelmed (Sarmiento et al., 2024).

This doesn't mean we suddenly lose the ability to make good decisions.

But it does mean that stress can change how we approach them.

Think about a time when you've had a lot on your mind. Maybe you were balancing work, school, family responsibilities, or other challenges all at once. During times like these, even deciding what to make for dinner or what errand to do first can feel like one more thing your brain has to figure out.

With this, it makes sense that some days making decisions feels easier than others.

Sometimes it isn't about the decision itself.

Sometimes it's about everything else you've been carrying that day.

A Different Way To Look At It

When small decisions start feeling overwhelming, it's easy to become frustrated with ourselves.

We might think, "Why can't I just make up my mind?" or "This shouldn't be so difficult."

But what if we asked ourselves a different question?

"What is making this decision feel so important right now?"

Sometimes the answer has very little to do with the decision itself.

Maybe you're already mentally exhausted. Maybe you're under more stress than usual. Or maybe you've started putting pressure on yourself to make the "right" choice, even though several options would probably work out just fine.

Taking a moment to pause and notice what's happening can help us respond with a little more understanding instead of immediately assuming something is wrong.

Because sometimes, making a decision isn't difficult because we're bad at making decisions.

Sometimes it's difficult because we're asking our brains to sort through more than we realize.

A Few Questions To Reflect On

If this is something you experience, it might help to pause and consider:

What kinds of decisions tend to take up the most mental energy for me?

When I have a hard time making a decision, what thoughts usually come up?

Am I putting more pressure on this decision than it really needs?

Is there a decision I've been overthinking that I could approach with a little more flexibility?

Some Takeaways

Making decisions is something we all do every day, but that doesn't always mean it feels easy.

Sometimes our brains are sorting through more information than we realize. Other times, stress or mental exhaustion can make even small decisions feel more difficult than they normally would.

With this, feeling overwhelmed by everyday choices doesn't necessarily mean you're bad at making decisions.

Sometimes it simply means your mind has a lot to process.

And honestly, recognizing that can be a helpful reminder to give yourself a little more patience the next time a small decision starts feeling bigger than it needs to.

References

Sarmiento, L. F., Lopes da Cunha, P., Tabares, S., Tafet, G., & Gouveia Jr, A. (2024). Decision-making under stress: A psychological and neurobiological integrative model. Brain, Behavior, & Immunity - Health, 38, 100766. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbih.2024.100766